The Choice to Remove Toxic People From Our Lives

Spring is a time of new beginnings. A time for evaluating what is working for us and what isn't. What it is that makes us happy and what doesn't. What's important and what's not. What is causing more harm than good. It is with these thoughts in mind that, like spring, the following blog post sprung.

We’ve all had at least one, probably many more, toxic people in our lives. Whether it be a friend, co-worker, or family member, when they’re around you feel anxious, tense or just plain bad. Over the past couple of years I have made the conscious decision to eliminate these types of people from my life. Life is too short to spend it with people that don’t have your best interests at heart and honestly drain the life out of you.

When contemplating ending a toxic relationship you must first realize that these people are experts in manipulative tactics. They've most likely learned and honed these skills from a very young age and are true manipulating masters. In the beginning you might not even realize you’re being manipulated. They very skillfully use this ability to get what they want. Keep this in mind if you are trying to put distance in the relationship and they keep pulling you back. They are very often bullies and liars as well. Once you’ve realized that so much of what they have told you is base on lies it makes the breaking of ties that much easier. Some are angry and confrontational. That was the final straw in ending a toxic relationship in my families life. Prior to this particular incident I had only seen that behavior directed at others. It was more than enough to make me realize that, family or not, this is not acceptable behavior…ever.

Sometimes, with certain people, you may feel compelled to give them a second chance. Maybe they’ve apologized, promised to be honest, less hateful, or what ever the case may be. Others may have not realized how negative, hateful or draining they were and truly wish to change. With some toxic people a second chance may be possible but with many others there is no chance of a healthy relationship. These people feel they’re right, and that they’ve always been right. They will not change because they have no desire to do so. They enjoy being a bully, intimidating others, causing emotional drama, judging, gossiping and hating. It is who they are and it serves a purpose in their lives. In these circumstances, my advice to you is - cut them out of your life and don’t look back. Don’t feel guilty over this decision because in reality they’ve made it themselves. Just like you make a conscious decision to live a life based on true friendships, love, sharing, kindness and caring, they choose not to make those things a priority in their lives. It’s their choice ultimately.

This decision can be a very difficult one to make. There are often extenuating circumstances that come into play that keep us in a toxic relationship. Look out for your own emotional well being and do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. I truly hope this has been helpful to you.